Every year on woman’s day, I happen to receive numerous forwards, images, and one-liners mentioning how great a woman is and how gigantic her sacrifice is for her loved ones. Some of the messages illustrate how women manage and intermingle their career and household chores, whilst the others about how truly beautiful and innocent creatures we all are. Although I also forward such messages to various groups, it surely makes me contemplate the genuineness of such feelings. Are they reserved only for one day or forever?
Whether you like it or not, we women try to compete, compare, demoralize and undercut each other wherever possible. It is difficult to find a woman who truly considers your achievements, big or small as exceptional and would do the trouble of telling you on the face. It is true when they say that the biggest enemy of a woman is another woman. There are many such situations when it is the other women who do not understand and show no compassion when the other women are in trouble.
Let’s analyse a few of them, especially the ones which we face in our daily lives.
- Mother-in-Law issues – Irrespective of country or ethnicity I feel every mother-in-law has a specified set of expectations out of her daughter-in-law. If the daughter-in-law isn’t a working lady she is expected to work her ass off at home. If she is a working daughter-in-law, she is judged at every juncture of how she juggles home and work. This is like the ‘Agni-pariksha’ she undergoes every day and to top it all, as a working woman the guilt kills us. Working may be a need or a prerogative and in any scenario, a woman is majorly judged by the other woman more than men.
- Workplace issues – The use of the word ‘bitch’ is quite common at workplaces. A woman boss can get controlling and might also find extreme joy in troubling her female subordinates just for the joy of it. Whether this is sadistic behaviour at the display or a show of her superiority, only she can answer, but workplace bullying occurring among females is not to be ignored at all. You would find a good number of women encouraging the weaker ones to perform well, but there is an equal number who put the others down and smile that cruel grin. Unbelievably reasons to do so can be as silly as the subordinate being a beautiful person!!
- Befriending the rich – A woman declared as a plain Jane can get ignored and neglected loyally by other women. Wearing budget clothes is often reprimanded by the other so-called ‘chic’ and sophisticated women who judge them by the value of their clothes. They like to ignore the person because they consider her to be a misfit in her group. Sadly sick but very true.
- Dress-up competition – This actually is funny and whenever I come to think of it, I feel we can do better with our time. Most women love dressing up, sometimes every day and the other times on named occasions. But did you know, the competition is so fierce in this field too? If there is a common party especially a themed one, women’s friends discuss what they would be wearing, but they have their innate secret ‘Brahmastra’ which they reveal on the day of the party. It could be an added accessory or a designer shoe, but every single attempt is made to ensure the information remains a secret so that she doesn’t lose her competitive edge. See I told you this is funny!!
- We never compliment her frequently – What is it with women not wanting to compliment the other? It goes way up my head actually. This kind of jealousy is what makes us disloyal to our own gender. So when you look beautiful, the jealous ones decide to behave as though they don’t care. If you have achieved something professionally, a straight prickly comment would be, “she has domestic help at home, and she has all the time to pursue a career” or maybe, “What’s the use of such achievement when she is ignoring her child”. Such comments are harsh, insensitive and can come only from a woman who is non-achiever herself! Sorry to be brash but yes that’s the truth!!
It is when we stop doing such things, do we celebrate the true spirit of WOMANHOOD. It is such a great bestowal that God Almighty has given us. But, why do we play mind games and trouble the other? It is a relevant question to ask, why do women compete with the other? The answer is in our head. We need to unravel it and dissect it and completely reverse the situation. Be appreciative, kind, and warm to the other women. Applaud them, cheer them up and motivate them to do their best in any scenario. We need to break the female rivalry chain. That according to me is what the virtue of a real woman is. Beautiful or not beautiful, perfect or imperfect, every woman is a gorgeous creation from above, and let us keep it that way.
Together we will protect woman’s human rights in all circumstances;
Together we will foster woman’s capabilities in every field at all times;
Together we will make woman’s voices heard in decision making;
Together we will promote and harness woman’s leadership;
Together we will unleash woman’s power in all its dimensions;
Together we will ensure that woman’s full potential is realized, generation after generation.
Together We Can!