When anything goes wrong with you, is your first instinct to refocus on your to do list and your bigger goals in life?
Well, chances are you may unconsciously be suppressing some emotions, which believe me, are bound to make its way back, sooner or later, in the form of more intense emotions or an unwanted change in behaviour.
We live in a culture that has forced us to believe that all the pain we receive is meant to be used as fuel and not a part of it is to be felt.
Therefore, at the slightest emotional wound, we start to pile up commitment over commitment, chockablock our schedules and start to call ourselves â€œcrazy busyâ€. When in real, all we are doing is trying to get over the unwelcomed emotions by working over it and giving time some time to heal the wound itself.
Well, if it was true that time heals, therapists would be out of business, because majority of their work involves healing of the childhood trauma of their grown up clients.
Emotions are our compass and also an inseparable companion on our journey of life, wouldnâ€™t it be better to sit with them and take their help to navigate through the journey?
Let me help you with what to do next time you are hurt, instead of taking up another project.
1. ACCEPT YOU’RE NOT OKAY : Stop saying you are fine when you arenâ€™t feeling fine, remember, what you resist not just persists but also grows in size. The moment you accept youâ€™re not okay, your mind will start looking for solutions instead of looking for a new escape.
2. ALLOW YOURSELF TO FEEL ALL THAT NEEDS TO BE FELT : Emotions demand to be felt, so allow yourself to feel them. If you donâ€™t allow yourself to feel negative emotions, you wonâ€™t be able to fully enjoy positive emotions too. Take note, when you numb sadness, you also numb happiness and joy.
3. DON’T JUDGE YOUR FEELINGS : Everything you feel is valid. When you invalidate or judge our own emotions, you also strip them of their ability to teach you.
“Your intellect may be confused, but your emotions will never lie to you.” – Roger Elbert
4. WRITE (NOT TYPE) IT OUT: Write down all your thoughts and feelings without a filter, every time you feel overwhelmed. It can help you gain control of your emotions and improve your emotional health.
5. CHANGE THE NARRATIVE : Be mindful of the story you’re feeding your brain. If you find yourself saying â€œhow can I be so vulnerable”, change it to â€œI have the courage to feel deeply.â€
6. SEEK HELP: Asking for help wouldnâ€™t make you small. Confide in a friend or find a counsellor to help you navigate or just to lend you an empathetic listening ear.
These are some ways that help me deal with my stubborn emotions. You can feel your emotions however you choose to feel them, but just remember to show some compassion to yourself in the process.
Go on and FEEL deeply, because that’s what we humans are supposed to do.