Author: Skillette

Often, it’s that full and happy feeling we get when things go really well in our lives.

It comes with a sense of peace and maybe with an idea that we finally did something to deserve the gift we’ve been given.

We’ve probably all experienced that kind of gratitude at some point in our life. But what if it could mean more than that for you?

What if gratitude became a perpetual, daily feeling for not just the big things?

There’s evidence to suggest that being grateful, despite your circumstances can improve every single area of your life, and actually brings in more things to be grateful for.

The universe listens when you express it, and responds by providing you with more things to be grateful for. That’s the magic of gratitude.

And in this blog, we’ll help you discover how to find it more often.

You’ll learn all about the ways in which it improves your life, and some practices and techniques to become (even) more grateful.

What is gratitude?

It’s easy to think gratitude is simply saying “thank you,” but in reality it means so much more than just that.

To understand this, try this exercise:

Think of the most surprising and best gift you’ve ever received. Perhaps the gift is a material one, or even something like the birth of a child. Now try to recall the associated, all-encompassing feeling that came along with that. Remember how “thank you” just didn’t feel strong enough to express your gratitude.

That’s a pretty intense example, but remembering a moment like that illuminates some things that are important to associate with being grateful.

Gratitude is the medicine that changes less into enough!

Taken from the Latin word ‘gratia’, gratitude is a state of mind where we feel thankful.

• Gratitude outshines all other emotions.
  When you feel it, it often overpowers other feelings. Gratitude shines brighter.
• Humility accompanies gratitude. 
  Arrogance and pride are impossible feelings to have when you experience gratitude.
• It’s contagious. 
  When you feel gratitude for one thing in your life, it tends to overflow into other parts of your life, even places that you previously thought weren’t ‘good enough.’

To experience more gratitude, realize that it’s about more than just saying “thank you.”

Of course, the feeling isn’t always that intense, but for just a moment, experiencing it, even in its simplest form, can amplify positivity in your life.

Our society places a lot of importance on politeness, and that’s definitely not a bad thing.

But it can be confusing, because we make a habit of saying “thank you” even when we aren’t grateful.

Let’s not allow that habit to over-shine your ability to feel the power of gratitude.

How to Practice Gratitude?

If you ask me, you can practice gratitude at each moment by saying thank you and by simply realizing things in your life that you are grateful for. But, if you want to start practicing gratitude here are some techniques for you to incorporate into your life:

1. Become a grateful gazer.

Look for opportunities where you can extend your gratitude. Did someone open a door for you? Say, thank you. Be an opportunity seeker.

2. Create a visual reminder.

You can create any visual that reminds you of the grateful things in your life.

3. Practice mindfulness.

Mindfulness is the act of experiencing the world exactly as it is in the present moment, without judgment. It gets you out of your head.

It’s impossible to really feel grateful for the world around you if you’re stuck in your head.

Mindfulness by itself has a tremendous impact on your life.

Alone, it can improve all the areas of your life mentioned earlier. Added into a gratitude practice, the results are astounding. Practicing mindfulness and gratitude can make you a happier, more fulfilled person.

4. Gratitude journaling.

Maintaining a gratitude journal is found to be one of the best tools to boost your mental wellness. Because you are writing down and reminding yourself that yes there’s a lot to be grateful for in my life. It will bring your attention to the many unseen aspects of life.

Now that you understand what gratitude really is, it’s easy to see how powerful that emotion could be and how many areas of your life it can impact.

There’s really no limit to that impact, but luckily, scientists and psychologists have spent a lot of time studying the effects.

B.T.S = BEHIND THE SCENES

NO! NO!

It is BEHIND THE SCIENCE :p

Scientifically it is proven that-

• Our brain releases dopamine and serotonin by feeling gratitude,which we fondly like to call the ‘feel good’ hormones.
• Stress hormones like cortisol can be reduced by merely feeling ‘grateful’.
• Gratitude contributes to the increased feelings of closeness, connection and happiness.
• It is proven that gratitude helps heal depression and stirs positive feelings in us.
• Regular practice of gratitude results in healthier lifestyle choices and wiser decisions.
• Gratitude rewires our brain, so we automatically become more likely to focus on the positives in the world than the negatives.

Therefore Gratitude will:

• Keep your mental health in check.
• Make you feel more abundant and hence more secure.
• Help you be more satisfied with yourself and connected with others.
• Enable you to have better sleep-wake cycles owing to enhanced moods.
• Empower you to take charge of your life and lead a more meaningful and fulfilled life.

Gratitude simply transforms the entire cycle by first changing your thoughts.

“I don’t have enough” becomes â€œI have so much”.

“I am bitter and sad” becomes â€œI am so happy and at peace”.

Finally, you validate your feelings with your behaviour.

Experiencing gratitude can change your life from self-destructing mode to an empowered, free and happy mode.

Gratitude, even when it’s tough

When all is going really well, it’s easy to practice gratitude, but that ease can disappear as soon as tragedy or misfortune strikes.

This is why it’s important to make gratitude a habit right now.

As a habit, it will form your future perspective to see through the lens of gratefulness instead of entitlement and disappointment.

We hope this blog demonstrates that gratitude is a bright shining light that eliminates shadows and darkness.

If you begin implementing as a daily practice, right now – today – you will make it easier on yourself to find that light when things become difficult.

Things happen – they change and shift, and sometimes we see those shifts as “bad” or “good.”

When you practice gratitude, you realize that those judgments are choices and not facts.

You can choose to focus on the “good” or the “bad.”

When you choose to focus on the positives and be grateful for them, the universe responds by giving you more positive things.

This is the essential principle behind the Law of Attraction, and this principle is guided by gratitude.

Why would you expect to receive more when you’re not happy with what you’ve already been given?Right?

Start practicing gratitude today and watch how the universe responds. See how those around you become more positive, and feel the shifts in your mood and motivation as you become happier, healthier and more fulfilled.

If you choose to practice gratitude each day you can enjoy its lasting positive impact on your health and overall well being.

“Gratitude and Attitude are not challenges, they are choices!”

Choose Wisely!

“TO FALL IN LOVE WITH YOURSELF IS THE FIRST SECRET TO HAPPINESS” –Robert Morley

True self-love gives you the fortitude and grit to withstand any difficulty in life. But if you’re struggling to feel more appreciation for yourself, you may need to make use of a couple self-love techniques.

Here are a few tried and tested techniques to help you enhance your self-love and come to terms with the incredible human that is you.

Ready? Then, let’s get started!

Why Is Self-Love So Difficult

Can you remember any time when you were so disappointed in yourself, thinking:

“What’s wrong with me?”

“I’m always making mistakes.”

“It’s all my fault.”

This is the typical train of thought for those who treat self-love merely as a reward for the day in which they finally become the person they want to be. This behavior implies that their self-love is subject to them being objectively “good” or “successful.”

However, as Aristotle stated:

“Humans, deep down, love the self more than their favorite others (family and loved ones). But, as cultural animals, they can come to believe that they love their favorite others more than they love the self.”

Which means, believe it or not, you already love yourself.

What Is True Self Love?

Self-love is not a desperate need to be better or more deserving than others. It’s not selfishness or vanity. It’s not conditional on desired outcomes. And it’s not an exaggerated sense of importance or classic narcissism.

Self-love is open and honest.

It’s the ultimate commitment; to get to know and accept yourself as you are. To fully experience life as it happens to you. And to continually seek ways to physically, psychologically, and spiritually grow from these experiences.

True self-love is giving yourself unconditional respect, and appreciation. It’s reminding yourself that you deserve to have all your personal needs met while considering yourself worthy, valuable, and deserving of happiness.

It’s fully knowing, no matter what you do or neglect to do, that you’ll always love yourself and be true to who you are â€” no matter what.

Is Self-Love The Best Love?

Self-love is confident, warm, and caring.

It’s the complete acceptance of who and what you are. It’s the appreciation and affirmation of yourself.

It’s the unconditional support, self-care, and compassion you give yourself that ultimately translate to good health, great self-esteem, happiness, total balance, and well-being.

Self-love is a basic necessity, a fundamental positive value that leads to inner peace and happiness.

Why Is It Important To Love Yourself?

You simply cannot take care of others until you take care of yourself first. When you truly, unconditionally love yourself, you can move through the world with deeper compassion for others, deriving a deep sense of joy and pleasure from the act of giving.

Self-love is, therefore, your fuel and foundation. If it’s not there, your entire life will be unstable and uncertain. But if you truly love yourself, life moves forward with ease and everything falls into place.

You’ll have greater resilience to withstand any challenging life event or personal adversity. Depression, anxiety, stress, and the strive to be perfect, will vanish in the face of pure optimism that self-love creates.

You will always know that this moment shall pass and say,

“I am okay, because I will treat myself fairly no matter the situation.”

How Do You Master Self Love?

Oscar Wilde once said, “To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.”

Which means, it’s a not a destination — but an everyday practice.

But before we get to daily self-love techniques and exercises, here’s what you need to know:

You are the center of the universe — It all starts and ends with you. You’re going to be with yourself for eternity. Which means you want to operate from a place of self-love, rather than self-loathing.

You care for yourself the most — No one else is interested in you — your well-being, safety, health, happiness, and existence — more than you. No one knows better than you what makes you happy or what hurts you the most.

And isn’t it true that no one can make better choices for you, or give you a better opinion of what you need to do, other than yourself? No one is here for your spiritual growth but you.

The love you seek exists within you â€” Love from other people can only make you happy if it expands on or reflects your own self-love. And loving others can only originate from self-love: a reflection or expansion of the love you have for yourself.

5 Self-Love Techniques To Increase Self-Love

Here are 5 self-love techniques you can use to begin increasing your self-love:

1. Mind your inner voice

The mind is always operating from a place of duality, so to feel inferior or superior is normal. Become aware and conscious of how you treat yourself in your own mind. Pay attention to your self-talk and how it makes you feel. Discard the demeaning thoughts and direct your mind and actions to positive behaviors.

2. Clear your mind

Observe and understand your current beliefs and values, and the real motivations behind them (make sure you don’t carry other people’s beliefs and values). If your beliefs and values are not serving your highest good, question why you’re holding onto them.

3. Invest much time in good self-care

Nourish yourself daily with healthy activities; good nutrition, exercise, proper sleep, intimacy, and healthy social interactions, with lots of time for fun, adventure, and relaxation. When you fuel and take care of your body properly, you’ll have optimum energy and vitality which builds upon self-esteem. Self-esteem and self-love go hand in hand, and participating in things you’re good at will boost endorphins and bring out the best version of yourself.

4. Set boundaries and protect yourself

Identify what is, and isn’t good for you, and gain the clarity you need to understand what you will, and will not accept in your life. Don’t ever tolerate being treated like a doormat. Bring the right people into your life who reflect your own self-respect and reputation. Live intentionally with purpose and design.

5. Explore your spirituality 

Faith is the foundation for self-love, no matter what religion or system you believe in. Believing in something opens up your soul to the beauty of belief and trust itself. When you explore your spirituality, it will take you on a journey of learning things about yourself. And those new thoughts, feelings, passions, and raw emotions will make you appreciate yourself for being authentically you. This will enhance your intuition and help to make decisions based on your gut.

 Self-love is a process, one that will never be truly complete.  There will always be more to improve, more to learn, more kindness one can show.

What’s most important, however, no matter where one is in the process of self-love is to remember…

I am enough!

Your teacup is full. Empty Your Cup.

Once, a long time ago, there was a wise Zen master. People from far and near would seek his counsel and ask for his wisdom. Many would come and ask him to teach them, enlighten them in the way of Zen. He seldom turned any away.

“I have come today to ask you to teach me about Zen. Open my mind to enlightenment.” 

The tone of the important man’s voice was one used to getting his own way.

The Zen master smiled and said that they should discuss the matter over a cup of tea. 

When the tea was served the master poured his visitor a cup. He poured and he poured and the tea rose to the rim and began to spill over the table and finally onto the robes of the wealthy man. Finally the visitor shouted,

“Enough. You are spilling the tea all over. Can’t you see the cup is full?”

The master stopped pouring and smiled at his guest.

“You are like this tea cup, so full that nothing more can be added. Come back to me when the cup is empty. Come back to me with an empty mind.” 

I love this story. Usually in a scenario where someone in the group is resisting change or throwing up an invisible wall to learning.

So why am I sharing it with all of you?

Because to gain from anything that is new to us, we have to be willing to “park” our current belief systems. To put things we have been practising up to this point on hold to allow ourselves the opportunity of becoming better. It is holding onto negative behaviours or traits that keeps us where we are. In fact, some traits and behaviours may not even be entirely negative, but right now they simply are not serving us.

I will share a real world scenario with you. A lady approached me for help. She was tired of being tired. Tired of being stiff when she got out bed in the morning. Tired of needing coffee just to function. Tired of snapping at her kids for minor things. Tired of everything. And not a fun person to be around. This was impacting her self esteem and self worth and impacting those around her. She was no longer who she wanted to be. So she approached me for help. About 4 months into the journey she was looking and feeling like a new woman. She looked better, felt better, no longer snapped at her kids, was easier to live with (her husband told me that), had energy and was just happier. 

Then one day she stopped coming to class. And the excuses began to roll in. “Bad weather”, “cramps”, “lack of sleep”, etc. She went from being back in the drivers seat of her life to being a passenger with life just pulling her along. 

So what caused this shift? One word. Fear.

Fear of the unknown is a powerful thing. We get so used to being a certain way that we see those old ways as a “safety blanket” even if they have been killing us slowly. As humans, we have a default switch that pulls us back to the known even if that known was and is negative. 

You have to be willing to go the distance long enough for positive behaviours to become your default. You have to be willing to commit. To trust the process. And just get it done consistently with no excuses. 

If you are not happy where you are at in your life physically and emotionally, you have to accept that this did not happen by mistake. We create our reality through our choices and our actions or lack of action. 

Empty your cup. Pull down your invisible wall that is blocking you from being more and feeling like you want to feel.

How to empty your cup? –

HONESTY – Be aware of the things you tell yourself

COMMITMENT – Embrace the possibilities in the unknown

RESPONSIBILITY– Take ownership of your action or inaction

EMPOWERMENT– Step forward with the intent of making a difference

Stop being a passenger. Do it. Say it. Own it!!